Sunday, June 20, 2010

Saturday Morning

I'm awake - not that nice and easy awake - the jolt awake, awake. There is no clock in the bedroom - what time is it? Did the wake up call not happen? I bolt out of bed and look at the clock in the kitchen. It's 3AM. Do I go back to bed or stay up... stay up, just don't bother. Make coffee -- Manna of the Gods, I love coffee -- did I mention that - I LOVE COFFEE.

Get dressed, straighten up the room one more time - pull down the used towels and put them in a little pile -- drink coffee, pack up the rest of my stuff. Go out into the hallway to the stairway and see what the weather is doing - oh no, nanananananana naaaa na naaaa na - BAT MOTH! Swoops past my head and into the night. Apparently he lives here. 4AM - no wake up call -- wake Doug up -- 4:03 - wake up call comes in. Bring Doug coffee. Phone rings - driver is here -- crap, it's not 4:30 yet - hold on, we're coming, just a few minutes. Finish gathering up the towels, wash the coffee pot out - leave a tip for the housekeepers and out into the hallway we go -- and there he is -- Bat Moth -- sitting (is that the right word? Do moths sit?) on the floor outside our door - he's either saying goodbye or is a fame whore - looking for more exposure on the blog -- there, ya little bugger - here's another 15 minutes of fame for ya.

The drive to the airport is pretty quiet and soon enough we're there -- in the doors and to the right - get in line to pay the $26.00 per person departure tax, down to the AA counter and in line for that, oh wait - first we have to get past the departure tax police so we don't sneak out without paying the tax. Check in, down the hallway and in line for the security checkpoint. Get through that and now a line for breakfast.

A movement catches my eye -- a woman is waving her arms - no wait - so is Doug. Jeez, ya can't swing a dead cat without hitting someone from Ohio, can ya -- Doug and this woman aren't just waving their arms, they're spelling out O*H*I*O ala the Village People's YMCA dance. Dignified, so dignified. So, while we're waiting in line (at 5-flipping-o'clock-in-the-morning) for the $6.00 croissant sandwich and $5.00 french toast sticks - these two are chattering like magpies about the Buckeyes, Woody Hayes (give it rest guys - he's DEAD) and how wonderful it is to find someone from Ohio (yeah, go back to the dead cat comment, pahlease).

The flight finally boards and the plane is packed to the wings. Luckily, it's early - to the babies and kids are blissfully quiet. I forgot my glasses in my purse, which is packed in my carry on bag and tucked in the overhead. Boredom takes a seat right next to tired, tucked right between tired and punchy. Out of the computer bag comes the camera and I'm shooting pictures out the plane window. I'll post some -- boredom really does breed stupidity in me.

Miami Airport. They should just blow that place up and start over with some sense of logic. Off the plane and walk forever, for miles and miles, for eons to passport control, then walk for another three days to luggage (which we don't have)then tocustoms, out of customs - follow the green dots to the yellow dots, up the elevator to security -- I want to scream -- where o where do you think I could have picked up contraband between the plane and here? morons, idiots, adjectives scream in my head as I get into another line to take off my shoes and unpack my laptop and go through the whole process again - cripes. We get through this and now we wait and wait and wait -- three and half hours. Doug wants pizza - the closest thing they have to pizza (no disrespect truly intended here) is Pizza Hut. Miami Airport is a shambles - a mess - they should be ashamed of it. Miami Airport is boring, stone cold boring. I'm not even going to write about those long hours. Finally we get on the plane and 40 minutes later we get into Tampa.

Thank God for Mike -- he picked us up and drove us home...

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